The big abortion debate is one that, much like the mythical phoenix, gets resurrected constantly. It is especially pervasive during every election season in the US. This year it has become an even larger focus with the selection of staunch abortion foe Paul Ryan as Romney’s VP as well as unbelievable comments from Senate candidate Todd Akin.
As is typical in a very black & white society, there are two groups that are polar opposites: pro-choice, who believe it is up a woman to decide what happens to her body, and pro-lifers who believe abortion is rarely, if ever, acceptable, Most pro-lifers would probably agree that a pregnancy resulting from rape or incest or one that would endanger the life of the mother are the exceptions.
As a young man I was staunchly in the pro-life corner. I didn’t buy the “what happens to a woman’s body” argument because there’s another life going on in there. I also find it somewhat hypocritical that if someone causes injury to a woman’s fetus, i.e., during an assault, and the fetus dies they can be charged with homicide in some cases. But a woman can have that life snuffed out on a whim.
I also didn’t agree with the “if the woman’s life is endangered” argument because she’s already had a life and the baby hasn’t, and there is also no 100% guarantee that the doctor’s opinion is correct. During my younger years I was intensely black & white.
What I find hypocritical about the whole pro-life movement is that those who are most rabid in their arguments tend to be vehement supporters of sending our young men and women overseas to die in nonsensical, never-ending battles, and they also support the death penalty.
For example, let’s look at Texas, a very conservative state. It is so conservative that it would like to ban the instruction of evolution from all classrooms and textbooks. It is very pro-life. And it has executed more people since 1972 than any other state in the union (and is #2 for all of US history).
Likewise, these states are also the first to rally to cut spending on health insurance that would benefit children. They tend to cut education funding rapidly. Texas was the only state to cut education funding in 2005. Interestingly, most states listed as the “10 Dumbest States in America” are traditionally conservative, and severely pro-life, states.
I’m not quite sure how one can profess “all life is sacred” in one breath but then support wars and the death penalty in the next. I don’t know how you can fight for an insurance company’s right to not be forced to pay for birth control pills but then turn around and fight against assisting poor families to obtain health care for their children, and also reduce funding for education.
Really they should say they’re “pro-birth” instead.
There is another side of the conversation that continually gets left out, though. While expecting a woman to carry the product of a rape to term and then deliver it is, in my mind, reprehensible, it ignores the effects on the child. It is difficult to measure in studies, but many people believe that children suffer ill effects when the mother is exposed to prolonged stress during the pregnancy. Stress causes a release of multiple hormones, and the baby is exposed to those.
“You can put it up for adoption!” Sure, that’s always a viable, and noble, option. But what does that do to a child who lives their whole life knowing that their mother gave them up. We have all kinds of nice ways of trying to break that to children, but in reality they’re not very helpful. And you certainly can’t say “Well, you came from a rape. Your mommy didn’t want to murder you, but she didn’t want to keep you either.”
In addition, the argument pays no attention to the lives of children who are the products of an unwanted pregnancy. I know this first hand. My mother really didn’t want to be a mother, but abortion was out of the question for her. Most of my childhood was spent being repeatedly shuffled between homes of her friends and being physically, emotionally, and sexually abused into my early teens while grandparents consistently shirked taking on any responsibility so they could “save for retirement and travel.”
When I was 14 years old, my mother informed me she wished she had had an abortion. My first thought was “I do, too.”
Yes, I’ve done tremendous good with my life. As a teen, I often ditched school to go volunteer at a center for the blind. Where I developed compassion, I have no idea since I certainly didn’t experience it at home. Throughout my life I’ve always been engaged in some type of service. My last career as an employed person involved preparing people and their loved ones for death and then supporting the families afterward. I’ve fostered, been a guardian, and adopted children who have lived through all different types of hell. So, yeah, I think I’ve done OK, especially considering the life I was given.
But, if given the option of avoiding the torture I experienced through childhood and into adolescence, and then having to deal with the deep scars and their psychological effects even to this day, I can tell you that, yes, my mother should’ve had that opportunity and taken it.
I’m happy with the present state of my life. In fact, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m living a life that I’ve created and teaching my son that he can do the same. I am ensuring my child will not have the life I experienced. I am still doing good in the world.
I realize that some people will take that last paragraph and say “This proves why people shouldn’t have an abortion. Look at all the good that has come out of this!” Step inside my body, head, and my heart and then tell me that. Live with the traumatic flashbacks, the occasional anxiety, and reliving painful moments and tell me you would choose that life, and maybe I’ll give your argument more space.
I’m still not completely sold on the “don’t tell me what I can do with my body” argument, but all in all I have to say I believe in offering those mothers a choice. I believe it’s better to destroy a zygote than a whole, delivered child. I believe in offering those potential children a better shot at a happy, healthful life. Even if that means not giving them a physical life.
If you believe all life is sacred, then start living that. Stop supporting wars, stop supporting the death penalty, support the availability of contraceptives and prophylactics, and support teaching children something besides the ridiculous abstinence-only information they get.
And until you’re ready to support a good foundation for life outside the womb, don’t try to control it inside.
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