One of the biggest gay stereotypes I’ve seen is the superficial homo who seemingly only cares about fashion, hair, and a chiseled physique. Yeah, we all love pretty, but there’s more to life than simply getting the hottest guy you can into bed, or on the couch, the kitchen counter, etc.
While we can’t necessarily control what or who we’re attracted to, it doesn’t mean you have to be a total dick about it. I see way too much disrespect of older queers from those who are still in the prime of their youth.
And you know what? It wouldn’t kill you to show a little compassion to the older balding guy who’s possibly hitting on you. Not interested? Smile, say you’re really flattered but that you aren’t interested “that way” and maybe make a friend.
There’s no reason to tweet or Facebook about how some icky old man tried to pick you up. Take the compliment he thought you were good looking enough to waste time on.
Here’s the thing:
- There’s a good chance that gross older man has some responsibility for you enjoying some of the rights gays currently have. Those of us in our 40s and beyond have lived through the times when it was outright dangerous to be gay. We’ve lived through the “gay cancer,” when police could lawfully target you because your car was parked outside a queer establishment, and before the idea that two people of the same gender could ever have any smidgen of legal recognition for their relationship.
- We were once young and beautiful as well. Yeah, that’s right. One day you may be even more homely than you think we are now. Age isn’t often kind to people, even those who are smoking hot 10s when they’re in their 20s.
- Looks change overnight, but assholeism is more permanent. A man who treats you with respect and kindness now may just be even sweeter in 10 years when his face has more wrinkles, some of his muscles have become flabby, and he uses SPF 45 on his head instead of hair gel.
- It takes almost zero effort to be kind to someone. Just because you don’t see yourself sharing his bed doesn’t mean you have to be a dick to him. And here’s another shocker, we don’t always come up and start talking to you because we want to get in your pants. Sometimes we just enjoy being around young people because it reminds us of other times, or because we enjoy hearing your outlook on life, and being around you helps us feel younger.
I’ll ever be grateful to the older men in my life who helped mentor me and coached me through the extremely rough transition from lying to myself to accepting that nothing is wrong with me just because I’m queer. Their bravery and willingness to be my friend and big queer brothers helped keep me sane and helped me to see that being gay wasn’t necessarily a death sentence.
So young gays get over your arrogant, egotistical self and show some fucking respect and kindness. Your day is coming.
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